Regrets You Don't Want To Have

What matters the most to you in life? In your last days of life, what memories do you want to be able to reflect upon? What are the things you do not want to regret? Today, are you are living your life in a way that is consistent with your responses to these 3 questions?

You might be thinking:

a) Not quite. But here's the thing: I've got a pile of overdue projects I need to finish to even begin to get a little breathing room.

b) I need to make a greater effort and take consistent action in doing those things that really matter to me. I will make a plan and start doing a better job of that right now.

c) I'm not exactly sure what my responses to the first two questions are. I feel like I've always taken life as it comes. I deal only with whatever the next circumstance is. I used to, but no longer, reflect upon what matters most to me in life.

d) I thought I knew what matters most to me and I thought that I was doing a decent job living congruently with those things. But now that I stop to consider it, I haven't really thought about it in quite some time.

______

What matters most to you? What memories do you want to have as you look back on your life? What regrets do you definitely not want to have? It is crucial that we ask ourselves these questions (and answer them!) on a regular basis, much like taking a shower.

Each person's values are unique, so it is important that you define and are clear about what your personal values are so that you can act in line with them on a daily basis. This idea of congruency has three parts:

1. Becoming aware of your personal value system

2. Knowing that once you cultivate this awareness, value systems are built, revised, and maintained according to your choices

3. To the very best of your (human, and therefore imperfect) ability, acting in line with your expressed value system

_______

At the risk of sounding morbid, I find it helpful to remind myself that I am working with a limited time frame. Looking at it this way is often the catalyst to taking a look at how I am living my life and then taking action in response to what I find.

Far too many people - myself included - live by default rather than by decision. We passively fall into the next circumstance, relationship, or job simply because that is where the path leads. We forget to remind ourselves of a key truth: "Hold on a minute. I can choose which path to take (or create my own) according to where I want it to lead me.

The reality is that it really is never too late to begin practicing conscious, intentional action and purposefulness into our lives. But in order to do this, we must first pause from our endless busyness and distractions and take the time to reflect upon the kind of life we want to have lived – which is a reflection of the kind of life we live today. In this process, it is important to remember that the sum of our lives is the addition of day-to-day and minute-to-minute moments, It is also important to remember that many small, daily actions will in time, yield larger and more impactful results. Finally, it is important to just start. Not only do value-driven habits become easier with time – they also make more of an impact as you build momentum, mastery, competence, and confidence. Even if your attempts were to not yield the results that you are hoping for, beginning now will save you a lifetime of “what ifs” and regret. 

Where will the current path you are walking take you? Is it where you want to go? What "forks in the road" are you currently facing and how will your decisions at this fork impact your life?