Ways that Fear Keeps Us Stuck – Part II

 Ways that Fear Keeps Us Stuck – Part II

In continuation from yesterday’s theme, here are three more ways in which fear keeps us stuck:

4. Imposter syndrome

We feel less-than and like posers and pretenders. We ask ourselves, ‘who am I to ____?’ We feel like we aren’t good enough and that we won’t be good enough until we earn a certain credential, gain certain experience, are in certain relationships, or have certain things. Often, even when we obtain these things, we find that we still feel lacking and incompetent. It is like trying to empty a boat that is filling up with water because there is a hole in the bottom: taking capfuls of water out does not change the underlying leak. 

5. Comparing

Similar to imposter syndrome, unhelpful comparing can leave us perpetually feeling like not enough. We stay in the shadows and harbor resentment and jealousy and envy and a sense of self-judgment and inferiority because we don’t look a certain way or have a certain thing or perform at a certain level. The antidote isn’t to get what we are coveting or wishing for; rather, it is about saying in our own race with blinders own – and ultimately realizing there is no race at all. Our journeys are a process of self-growth and discovery, making progress and learning at our own pace. It is about who we become in this process rather than achieving a certain destination. 

6. Analysis Paralysis

In a vain attempt to reassure ourselves, we research and prepare and plan, believing that we can somehow control outcomes. This is foolhardy at best. While planning and preparation have their proper and worthwhile place, engaging in them to the extent that give us more anxiety and keeps us from other areas of our life ignores the reality that much of life is out of our control and that curveballs can and do happen. We must grow our tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty and grow our ability to flexibly adapt and creatively respond to changing and unexpected situations. 

I identify the top one to two ways fear manifests itself in my life. I decide how specifically I want to show up the next time I find myself giving into my fear and choose to act differently when that fear manifestation shows up in my life today.